Mid Year Review

It is hard to believe we're now several days into July! It's been a busy year thus far, and activity will be heating up soon as Craig starts his senior year and Matt continues his quest for a driver's license.

Earlier this year, I set forth some tasks I'd like to accomplish. It's a good time now to reflect on progress made. So here goes...

• Pray. Daily. So far so good.
• Set aside "me" time to recharge my batteries. This will include things like getting lost in a good book while soaking in a bubble bath, and doing girls' night out (or weekend retreats) on a regular basis. I am excelling at this one. lol. Off to spend 4 days relaxing and taking in a concert this week, as a matter of fact.
• Visit my parents more often. I could still probably do better with this one, but I AM doing better than last year.
• Do things with my sister more often. Hm. Still don't see her often, but more than last year.
• Catch up with my friends. I have done very well with this one, but not in the manner expected. Facebook has reinvigorated old friendships from high school, college, and former workplaces, and has cultivated a few new ones. This dovetails very nicely with my "me" time.
• Help those who need it--continue to volunteer for whatever beckons. This is just critical, and while I regularly volunteer, there is always room to do more.
• Help those who may not need it--random acts of kindness--doing the unexpected. This I have done.
• Organize my garage and basement store room, and maybe my closet and sock drawer. Well, I organized my closet, my sock drawer, and part of my attic. I also arranged to have junky parts of my yard cleaned up. The basement is beckoning....

I am thinking of new things that need to be accomplished...creating memories for my kids and their friends, giving back to the community, having fun, serving God...any suggestions?

Toga! Toga! Toga! (or Follies of My Youth)

It is graduation season, which means loads of graduation parties on our calendar. One this past weekend was billed as a toga party. Now, I actually happen to own a toga that is not made up of a bedsheet. One of the kids wore it for Hallowe'en a few years back, and I can still get into it. That said, while I took it with me to the party, I did not don it for the event. There were a few of the kids who did show up all toga'd out. Unfortunately, I did not have my camera with me but it was a sight to behold.

It made me think back to my college days and the toga parties of old. I started college the same year the classic movie Animal House came out, and toga parties were hot at fraternity parties. One of my old roommates, who I'll call Kay because I promised her anonymity if I wrote about this, thought it would be fun to head to a toga party at the Phi Sig house. Never one to miss a good time, I was all for it, with one exception--I was NOT going to walk all the way across campus dressed in a bedsheet. We lived on the far north end of campus, and the party was about as far south as you can get. So we compromised and went to her friend's room on the south side of campus to change--where it would also be convenient to get back into street clothes before we made our second stop at a floor party in Merrill Hall (which at the time was all guys).

Somewhere at the toga party (which was an absolute hoot!), we lost track of the friend. We decided to head over to the dorm party in our togas. I am not a big beer drinker (that being about the only beverage available at this party), so I was far from inebriated when I made that decision (although I often claim otherwise). I had a bit of trepidation because there were about 6 guys I went to high school with who lived in the dorm. I figured, however, that most of them would be gone since they were all football players and it was homecoming back at Bedford. As luck would have it, the first couple of people I ran into were some of my former classmates. I also met a few guys from a nearby town. They stood out because they all had beautiful eyes, beautiful smiles, and were cut in a way that all 18 year old girls can appreciate. One later became my best male friend in college, although our friendship really didn't start until a year later. We still talk occasionally so something good came out of my pseudo-embarrassment. Oh--my desire to not walk across campus in a bedsheet was for naught. We never did catch up with the friend we misplaced, and ended up heading back the the Barnyard in our togas. Luckily, autumn evenings in Mt. Pleasant were often mild.

With one son a year away from his own college adventures, I'm curious to see what this year's party trends will be. In the mean time, if you hear of a good toga party, give me a holler.

The Ties that Bind

I come from a very loose-knit family. We aren't what I'd call dysfunctional--we just have our own things to do. My parents and my sister live within a mile of me, and while I see them periodically, we aren't compelled to speak daily. It's not that I don't love them, because I do--it's just because we're all really busy. My brother lives the furthest--all the way over in the Start school district, and I see him even less. But we all get along and act like family when we do get together.

I also do not have an extensive extended family. My dad was an only child, and he only had a couple of cousins himself. We are fairly close with his one cousin and her family since they lived by us when I was a kid. On my mom's side, I have 7 first cousins. Two of them were adopted, and my uncle (mom's eldest brother) died when they were very young, so we've kind of lost track of them. The rest of us were spread out all over the country--we've been in Michigan since the mid-60's, my Uncle Bill's family was in the Chicago area, and Uncle Robert and crew were in Connecticut. We just didn't grow up around family, although we did see the Chicago contingent a couple of times a year.

Just to add to some perspective, my mom likes to tell the story of a time an acquaintance drove her home from high school. When she pointed out her house, the acquaintance remarked that she couldn't live there because that was Bob Rogers' house and he was an only child. Apparently, he'd been telling people that although he had 4 siblings (one deceased already), 2 of whom had overlapping time with him in high school. I'm also thinking that the relationship should have been a bit less of a mystery to the acquaintance since my mom was still Joan Rogers at the time.

Despite this, there are still ties that bind. We didn't venture very far when kids were named for my generation. The first 3 grandkids for Porter and Emma Rogers were Robert, Robert, and Robin. It isn't so much that my mom and her siblings lacked in originality--it's more that my dad and uncle are both Roberts and wanted juniors. Robin's name was more likely due to when she was born. Made the few times we were all together interesting--we had Bob, Robert, Bobby Reese, Bobby Rogers---pretty bad when the kids had to start going by their last names when they weren't in trouble. I also have 2 cousins named Kim, but they are on opposite branches of my family tree. I am named for my mom's sister, who died when they were children. Once it got beyond 1961, names began to differ (Beth, Nancy, Debbie, Laura, Mark).

Birthdays were also interesting. Four of the 10 Rogers' grandkids were born in April (and one in the last couple of days of March). My brother Robert was born on my Uncle Robert's birthday (which is a week before my mom's). My cousin Laura's birthday is the day before my sister's, and there were 2 in January. Everything all compacted.

Ages of said grandkids are spread out though, starting in 1957 and ending in 1969. Well, except for a nine month period in 1960 & 61. My cousin Robin and I were both born in April (she's older by 27 days). My cousin Kim came along 8 months later--so there were three of us in the class of '78. Robin and I were best friends until I moved to Detroit at 5. We were together frequently as toddlers. We also spent the summer of 1970 together after my grandparents died. It was back in the age of stationery and stamps, so we exchanged letters frequently. I think the only 2 times the three of us were together was one Christmas when the CT gang came to Chicago (we were all too young to remember that one!), and when my grandmother died. My family drove out to CT at the end of the summer of '70, and Kim and I became pen pals after that as well. I vividly recall one missive that contained a glowing review of her trip with her mom to see Engelbert Humperdinck. We've seen each other on a few of my other trips east--I'm still waiting for her to journey to the midwest.

At any rate, none of us grew up together and yet, if we were ever in a room together, I'm thinking people would think differently. We've all hooked up on Facebook. I have learned via this medium that Kim has the same warped sense of humor that I have. Aside from my brother (and apparently my mom), she and I probably have more of a family resemblance than I have with the rest of my relations, including my sister. It's not that we look alike--we don't particularly--Kim is gorgeous. It's just that you can tell we're family. My sister looks quite a bit like my other cousin Kim (dad's side). Robin doesn't look like either of us, but if you listen to conversation, it is again apparent that we're related. I'm sure having parents who grew up in the same house is the root cause. I'm grateful to Facebook for allowing us to become friends as adults.

Paying It Forward

Last weekend was the Relay for Life. I was unable to participate this year because of an out-of-town family wedding. However, the boys stayed back to help out. We became involved in this the first year because it was a community service project for Craig for National Junior Honor Society. It also has a personal connection as I lost an uncle to lung cancer (he was 42 at the time), and we lost my mother-in-law to pancreatic cancer in 2001. While the boys were small at the time, and the disease progressed quickly after her diagnosis (about 6 weeks), it still had a profound impact on the kids. So we continue to participate and contribute as a key household cause.

When my grandmother died 2 years ago, each of the boys inherited just over $5000. I'm not sure what the oldest one did with his--he's an adult. But the younger two came to me and said that they'd like to take some to help others. Craig donated $500 to American Cancer Society, while Matt donated $500 to Hospice in honor of the care they provided for his beloved great grandmother. Not too many 13 and 15 year-olds who would do that unprompted, and it made me sooooo proud.

Imagine my surprise this morning during my Saturday morning long-bath/read-the-paper ritual. I was reading an article about this year's relay in the Bedford Press. The football coach (such a life coach actually!) wants the boys to participate in community service events, and many chose to be part of Troy's team in the Relay. Troy is a junior high football player who was diagnosed with Ewing's Sarcoma last fall at the beginning of the football season. The kids have rallied behind him, and the football team (including parents) have tried to assist the family when possible as they go through this very difficult period. By the time I got to the end of the article (and even now as I write this), I was bawling. Lois (Troy's mom) singled out Craig and his efforts. To say that I am proud and humbled would be an understatement. I have taught my kids to pay it forward, often to what seems like deaf ears. To know that the lesson has sunk in, and that they unconditionally move to do the right thing is truly a blessing.

And it's not just my kids. Shortly after my grandmother passed, one of the kids' friends was killed in a very tragic accident. I started a scholarship in memory of our Philly, and one of the key requirements in the scholarship is an essay on what it means to make a positive impact on others. Because I am acquainted with this year's winners, I can honestly say that they live the idea of paying it forward on a daily basis. It comes as naturally to them as breathing. They do so without the expectation of kudos--they do it simply because they care. So I'd like to congratulate Joe Martin and Courtney Loe--not just on receiving the scholarship award, but for being the type of role models for peers and adults as well.

It is reassuring to know that there are so many in the next generation who understand the significance of giving, of making a positive impact, of potentially changing a life with a simple gesture.

Rites of Passage

More rites of passage flying by. I recall my high school years taking 4 whole years. It seems like my kids' are taking mere seconds. We've hit several milestones recently:

• Matt started drivers' ed and got behind the wheel of a car. While I am comfortable with that now, he will have an interesting story about his first "real" experience to tell his grandkids, and Mr. Andrews learned a valuable lesson about what not to have first time drivers do. I'll leave it at that.
• He also brought home information and an order form for his class ring. At least I only had to put $50 down on it but geesh those things are expensive. The older two both got really nice rings. I think they generally sat on a dresser somewhere.
• Craig is getting geared up for his senior year...once he gets through the next couple of weeks. One of my BFF's, Michelle, is branching out from her sports photography business and is doing senior portraits this year. She recently used Craig as a model. She does excellent work...I can't wait to see the real results when we do the actual session... but check out http://www.gskcreations.com/ senior photography and take a peak at the preliminary photos.
• Prom was this week. Craig took one of his friends. A bunch of the kids got together for the obligatory photo shoot. I watched so many of these kids grow up, and got to know some of the others over the past 4 or 5 years. I will say that my kids have done a great job in selecting their friends. It seems like just yesterday that I was watching some of them walk across the stage at their kindergarten graduation though.

Here are a few shots of the gang, she says with a tear in her eye.

Traveling with Teens vs. Toddlers

Just got back from an awesome vacation in Florida--my first "real" vacation in several years. I am not much of a flier, so I loaded the boys and their friends in my Edge and off we went for a 20 hour trip (each way). The experience was vastly different with teens than with toddlers, yet oddly, there were some similarities.

My boys are veteran travelers. Andrew has been in 44 states, and the younger 2 have been in 42. I don't think we've added any to their list in at least 10 years. When they were 13, 4, and 2, we did a cross-country journey--21 states in 18 days. That was long before there were things like dvd players in cars or cellphones in their hands. Andrew had his GameBoy, so he was well occupied. For Craig and Matt, it was more of the standard old-school car games. We also had some singalong tapes. Matt had his own rather violent version of Little Bunny Foo Foo that we heard dozens of times... Little Bunny FooFoo hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice and chopping off their heads. The other kids made the mistake of laughing the first time, so it stuck and was repeated over and over again by all.

I did not get much whining on that trip...we made lots of stops to do fun things, like go through Rushmore Cave, visit Mt. Rushmore and the Little Bighorn battlesite. We saw Mt Ranier and the Grand Canyon...were in Monterrey California (on the beach) in the morning and Barstow in the desert at dusk. There were times when I needed (or wanted) a leash for the younger 2...to try to keep them a bit closer from the edge of the Grand Canyon or Sea Lion Cave (Oregon). The only times they tended to act up, as if on cue, were during heavy traffic or construction zones when I most needed to concentrate on what I was doing.

This trip was different. We had a dvd player with us, and while I had to watch the road instead of the movies, I did get to hear the dialog for movies like Knocked Up, Beer Fest, Old School, Super Troopers and others of that ilk. There was constant texting and conversation that I didn't need to hear...typical teen boy (and adult boy) type of talk. Ipods were occasionally turned up too loudly--if I can hear it clearly while it's in their ears, it's too loud. No cute little songs repeated...just the new version of "you spin me right round baby right round" which is rather vulgar.

They were pretty well behaved overall. I still had moments when I wanted a leash for them... this time it was more to keep hormones in check though...a metaphoric cliff rather than a real one. They slept most of the way back...except for 2 critical time periods: when I hit Friday night rush hour traffic in Atlanta (with the absolutely PATHETIC SIGNAGE ON THE HIGHWAYS IN THAT TOWN!!!) and in a construction zone in the dark, again with poor signage, in Knoxville.

I'm not sure that I have a preference for which age group I prefer for travel. I guess I just like spending time with them regardless of age. As for the driving rather than flying, well, we've seen the whole country via the wheel...I view the journey as part of the fun. I don't mind at all.

Matt's Day

Another year has evaporated, at least from my perspective. For Matt, it makes him just one step closer to his driver's license (and another gray hair pops up). Time just seems to fly. My baby is now 8 inches taller than me and has nearly a year of high school under his belt. He's hitting his mid-teens--just think of all of the things I have to look forward to: girlfriends and broken hearts, insurance for 2 teens at the same time, college visits, more sports (yay!), adolescent attitude (so far so good with this one!)...and in a few short years, the empty nest. I guess I better enjoy it while I can. Here are a few pics from Matt's past year. Happy Birthday Matt.